It has to be said that a few things happened in this episode
***SPOILER ALERT: Contains spoilers for Game of Thrones, Season 6 Episode 2.
Well… that certainly all happened, didn’t it? Like a reigning premiership team coming out in the second game of a season to assert their dominance on the competition, Game of Thrones ‘unfurled their flag’ this week, and reminded everybody why it’s the most popular show in existence. Much like last week it was a series of ‘pop-ins’ for each storyline, but unlike last week, some things really happened.
I’ll start at the start, because it was great to see young Bran return to the screen after a lengthy layoff, and hasn’t he grown into a nice young James Blunt? We meet up with him and the three-eyed Raven in what appears to be a mixture of Yoda’s cave in the Dagobah system, and planet Hoth. Most importantly it gives us a really enjoyable flashback to Winterfell from a generation before, where a young (and clearly already noble and likable) Ned Stark is dueling with his brother, and a dumb stable boy named Willis watches on. But hold on… Willis is Hodor. Hodor is Willis. HODOR SPEAKS AND HIS NAME IS WILLIS! It was a very satisfying little scene, but that feeling didn’t last very long.
Ramsay Bolton may be a fictitious character, but the pure hatred I have for him feels very real-life to me. Seriously, how much further demented can this guy get? Firstly, he very causally kills his father Roose Bolton (who was responsible for the red wedding, so… suck shit Roose) after hearing the news of his new-born brother, then he has the new brother sent to him. Straight away, you know this despicable bastard is going to kill a new born baby, but to feed it and it’s mother to his dogs? That’s pretty fucked up Ramsay, even for you. Yours will be the most delightful death in the show’s history.
As one Lord dies another follows shortly after, with the show making a return to the place that is so gloomy and so regular with it’s rainfall, that it can only be described as the United Kingdom. The storylines from the Iron Islands are usually about as interesting as it’s landscape, but it appears a major story is about to play out here. Euron Greyjoy (I had to look that up, because the show did no favours there) returned to face his brother Lord Balon on the dodgiest footbridge in Westoros. While it was hard to know what was really happening here without having to research it afterwards, Theon’s Dad got thrown off a bridge and squealed the whole way down, leaving a new power struggle for the Iron Island throne. Just wait until Theon makes his way back there.
Speaking of Theon, he decided to part ways with Sansa as she heads off with Brienne to the Wall. It was a nice little scene, that included Brienne telling Sansa about Arya. “She wasn’t dressed like a lady.” Ha ha, no Brienne, I bet she wasn’t. Ayra herself continued her story arc of being smacked in the head with a stick, although there was some progress tonight. Still boring though.
In King’s Landing, Tommen was apologising to all and sundry for being such a pussy. Because let’s be honest, Joffrey may have been a sadistic little in-bred runt, but how long do you reckon it would have taken him to have the High Sparrow and his Ninja Monk’s heads on a pike? We also got to see a bit more of the mountain monster, or Frankenmountain, or whatever that thing is called. It did provide a very good life lesson though, that we could all learn from. If you flash your dick at a naked Queen on a walk of shame, and then brag about it later and say that her brother/lover is ‘an inch short of an inch,’ you will have your head splattered against the wall while you piss. It’s an oldie but a goodie.
The other rather interesting development was over in Meereen, and that’s not a sentence that gets said much. Obviously it was Tyrion once again, who apart from dropping ‘no cock’ jokes all over the shop, he also pulled out the great line “That’s what I do. I drink, and I know things.” The little fella has great writers. He also, for some very strange reason, is a Dragon whisperer. It was a tense and powerful scene where he un-chained the Dragons, but it was a bit hard to believe. “I’m friends with your mother” he told them, and they believed him, because they understand English.
Really though, it was the final few seconds that created the biggest talking point this week. Dressed in only a loin cloth on what I can only assume was the third day after his death, Jon Snow was bought back to life by the Lord of Light. Yep, nothing biblical going on here. It was a strange lead up too, with Melisandre needing a pep talk from Sir Davos. ‘Come on, you’re good at magic and stuff, remember when the smoke thing flew out of your vagina? That was pretty magic.’ The resurrection scene was quite tense, and the way it dragged on with no result really left the viewer wondering if they were trolling us again. But alas, in the last few seconds of the episode, Jon was back, and this could go just about anywhere.
An absolutely cracking episode, as good as Television gets.
- Still no Littlefinger? I don’t trust that guy, he is surely up to no good.
- Hodor’s brief little backstory tease was great, and I’d love to see more of them for other minor characters.
- Thankfully we didn’t see anything from Dorne this week.
- The civil war at Castle Black was a bit anti-climatic, but I guess when you have a Giant on your side who can splatter people against a wall… hang on, is that this weeks running theme?
- Jaime will be the one to kill the High Sparrow I feel, although it’s going to have serious repercussions when he does. I don’t like that guy, but you kind of have to respect the way they can mess with an Empire, just by using the guise of some magical fairy in the sky. Never underestimate the power of belief.